My Life According to This Stupid Book
by Flyin Phoenix
Summary: Hi, my name is Hermonie Granger and well I sure have a story for you. And it all according to this stupid book. RR....HHr GD RL


Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters, but hey, if JKR would let me. I would take them, but fortunately, that will never happen.

Summary: Hi, my name is Hermonie Granger and well I sure have a story for you. And it all according to this stupid book. R/R...H/Hr G/D R/L

Chapter One: Day of Insanity

_Dear Diary-_

_Well what can I say? That I am cracking up with joyous laughter? Oh, so you want to know why? Well, let me just take you back to this morning when I was waking Ginny up at about 7:30 on my way to breakfast..._

"Come on Ginny. Wake UP!" Shouted Hermonie as she ripped the covers off of Ginny Weasley's bed. In response, Ginny had just taken her head off of the pillow and put the pillow over her head and tried to sleep but she new that once she was up she would be that way. All because of her friend Hermonie Jane Granger.

"Mlowhayay!" Mumbled Ginny in irritation.

"Sorry?" Said Hermonie cause she did not quite understand what Ginny had just said.

"I said," began Ginny as she sat straight up in bed, "GO AWAY! I want to _sleep_. You know that thing you do when you are extremely _tired _and want to just sleep in?" After Ginny finished she chucked the pillow right at Hermonie, pillow sailing threw thin air right to Hermonie. Hermonie, have already experienced these kinds of things from Ginny, just threw herself down to the ground and the pillow happened to just hit Ron Weasley, Ginny's older brother, square in the face. _WHAM!_ Was the sound as Ron hit the floor cause of the energy for the pillows speed. You could just hear the string of curses coming straight from Ron's mouth. Ginny and Hermonie just looked at the priceless look on Ron's face as Collin Creevy took a picture and the girls just started howling with laughter at the sight.

"That was NOT FUNNY!" Screeched Ron at the two laughing girls who just laughed even harder at him. Ron's face flushed a dark red color and he just stood up and walked out of the room, right after he ran into the door, which had set the two girls into another fit of laughter. After they had finished, they got up and got ready to go to the Great Hall for breakfast.

Fifteen minutes later in the Great Hall...

"Where are they at Ron? Did they tell you when they would be down?" Said Harry as Draco sat down by him. Now just so you all know... Draco and Harry became friends over the summer after their fifth year.

"No." Snapped Ron. Harry and Draco just exchanged glances and Ron saw this so he told the to guys what had happened only fifteen minutes earlier. When he had finished, Draco and Harry were laughing so hard that tears were streaming down their faces. Draco then just teased Ron about the incident and Ron just looked daggers at the two of his friends.

"I'm sorry Ron but I just _have _to get a copy of that picture from Collin." Chuckled Harry. He then noticed Hermonie and Ginny enter the Great Hall looking spectacular as usual. The two young ladies sat down at the table in between Draco and Harry. About not even ten minutes later, Seamus walked up behind Hermonie and tapped her on the shoulder. It seemed these days that every boy in the school was doing this to Hermonie and Ginny, all for one reason. To ask them out on a date and get a little _something_ in return. Hermonie just turned around to and smiled up at Seamus.

"H-H-Hi, Her- Hermonie. Can I talk to you in private about something?" Asked Seamus.

"Sure you can. Come on lets go over here." Said Hermonie as she pulled Seamus by the sleeve over to an area in the Great Hall where they could talk. By now they had captured everyone's attention and Hermonie was well aware of it but Seamus sure wasn't. _Perfect._ Thought Hermonie as she set her plan into action.

"Umm... I was wondering if you would like to come to Hogsmead with me this weekend. So... ummm... would you?" Asked Seamus kind of nervously but with a lot of courage to ask one of the most prettiest girls in Hogwarts out on a date.

"Sure Seamus, I would _love _to. But there is something I have to tell you first." Said Hermonie with a sweet smile that graced her face.

"Yea?" Questioned Seamus while thinking _this couldn't get any better._

"Well, I'm not really Hermonie."

"Your not?" Asked Seamus in disappointment.

"No, I'm not. I really am Britney Spears." Said 'Hermonie' as she pulled the unknown zipper at the top of her head to her knees and out stepped Britney Spears. _Oh yea! _Thought Seamus, _this is definitely better._

"And I'm not really Britney Spears. I really am Hallie Berry." Said 'Britney Spears' as she grabbed the Zipper from the top of her head and pulled it down once more. And out popped Hallie Berry just like she has said! By now, Seamus was drooling all over himself while all of the muggle born students had a faint idea of what was going on, because this is was had happened on the Pepsi commercial.

"I'm really not Hallie Berry." Said 'Hallie Berry' as she had again grabbed that same zipper and did the exact same thing as two of the other times before. Everybody was on the edge of his or her seats watching, waiting to see who the next person was to come out of this costume. Even the teachers were watching. _Everybody _was watching.

Once the zipper was down the person a sheet like material over them. Seamus pulled it off excitedly and shrieked. Out came out was Professor Snape! But that wasn't possible was it?

"No, I'm Professor Snape to you! And if you don't leave right now I will give you detention with me for a week and take 100 points away from your house!" Shouted Professor Snape. Seamus just ran out of the hall screaming while 'Professor Snape' turned back into her original Hermonie self. Everyone who was present in the Great Hall both teacher and student burst out laughing. Even the _real_ Professor Snape, he has to hand it to the smart young Gryffindor. That was pretty brilliant. When Hermonie was done picking up her three costumes, she said a spell that made them disappear and went over back to her table and sat down with her friends and joined in with the laughter. For they all knew that Seamus would never look at the potions teacher again.

_Yup diary. That is what had happened. Well one can only be excited about what is going to happen next, so we shall wait and see right? Well I will write again soon._

_Hermonie_

A/N

You know what to do!

Review!


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